Realizations
by onetruelove23
Summary: Takes place after the family dinner in "Just Push Play." Will extend when ideas come to mind. Characters are not mine. Enjoy! :) Rizzles.


After both of the main exiting doors of Maura's house have opened and closed multiple times, accompanied with many hugs and both good and bad farewells, I turn back to look at my incredibly strong best friend with the tears of my father's visit still very present in my eyes. She grips her hands on the counter in an apparent attempt to regain herself before gazing up and realizing I am quite blatantly staring at her. She immediately hides the emotions that I know she has been internalizing throughout our entire family dinner that I forced her to host. _Oh Maura...This isn't her problem to deal with. I'm being selfish to make her go through this._

"Maura...I'm so sorry." She shakes her head and feigns an expression of confusion at my sudden apology, but this facade is short-lived as her eyes betray her with a sudden burst of tears that stream silently down her cheeks and force her to look at the floor once more. My instincts take over as I walk around to where she is standing in the kitchen, enveloping her in my arms and pulling her tightly to me in the most defensive of ways. Y_ou're supposed to be the person who protects Maura, and look at what has happened to her as a result of your own family! _She lays her head on my shoulder with her face pointed towards my neck, putting her entire weight on me as her body wracks out sob after sob. Each of her cries comes with another stab into my aching heart, threatening to shatter it to pieces because of my thoughtlessness towards my best friend who means more to me than any other person...My best friend whom I love with my entire being.

"Maur, sweetheart...This is all my fault. I should have told my mother not to have our dinner here, and I should have defended you when my father was such an ass to you yesterday in the courtyard...I should have realized that I cannot be kind and accepting to someone like him who puts so little value on someone that means _more than the world to me._" The words flow from my lips and register in Maura's ears before I can even comprehend what exactly it is that I am proclaiming. _I've waited so long to do this...Why did it have to come out this way?_ Her head has already perked up, her body staying firmly fixed against mine but her eyes now able to glimpse fully into my own.

"J-Jane...Do you mean...?" Her voice trails off as she struggles to speak, but she does not take her gaze off of me for a single moment. Her face is cloaked in confusion as her eyes obviously search for an answer to her question.

I gulp nervously, suddenly overly-aware of my hands' locations on the small of Maura's back, the delicious fragrance of lavender that is emanating from her, and the fact that she is the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on even with her mascara now smeared across her face. Flashbacks come rampantly through my thoughts of the times that I realized my abundant devotion towards this woman. _When I heard her crying over me after I shot myself...When Hoyt had his hands on her, and I wanted nothing more than to kill him for that very act alone...The numerous times that she has been there to hold my hand or give me a hug with a reassuring 'Everything's going to be alright...' _All of these memories and events that have further ensured my complete loyalty to Maura and hers to me have also forged in my brain a deep, certain, and irrevocable fact that I will never be able to deny or live without the knowledge of: _I am absolutely in love her._ My processing of these various thoughts causes me to subconsciously tighten my grip on her back, gathering up enough strength to utter a simple and genuine response. "Yes."

I seek for signs of her true reaction while gazing straight into her eyes. I bring one of my hands up to her cheek, brushing away stray tears that refuse to leave totally, always being replaced by even more. _This can't be good news, otherwise she wouldn't be so upset..._I mentally brace myself, pulling back both of my arms in anticipation for what is to come next. _I hope she still wants to be my friend...I wouldn't be able to survive without her in my life._ All of a sudden, I feel her hands shoot out and grab my wrists, stopping me from drawing them away completely and instead letting them rest comfortably on her hips. She then puts her hands on my neck as she speaks with great confidence, further emphasizing her point. "Me too."

I must look incredibly-dumbfounded as I begin to ramble. "Wait, did you understand what I meant? I meant that I have feelings for you and-"

She interrupts me, beckoning me closer with now both of her arms wrapped entirely around my neck. "I know...I thought it was obvious how in love with you I am."

An exclamation of happiness and also disdain for not figuring all of this out sooner is still on the tip of my tongue as I feel Maura's lips press eagerly to mine. I moan involuntarily while strengthening my grip yet again around her torso, our lips somehow trying to make up for the time lost while we were both in denial of our feelings. _I was so ignorant...so blind..._

All of my negative thoughts are silenced as Maura stops kissing me long enough to breath out "_Stay with me" _in the most seductive of ways. I feel my pulse quicken and my face flush, knowing full well what this request entails. My body and my mind are in sync, wanting nothing more than to be closer to Maura in every intimate, physical and emotional way possible. With this in mind, I nod and feel my heart swell inside of my chest, letting her lead me to the master bedroom.

...


End file.
